Coping with a torn ACL.
No. It isn't easy. Living day to day with a torn ACL and limited mobility on my right leg is definitely not easy. But I promise, it does get easier.
It's been about a month since I tore my ACL. Basically, I got a review, and it is a complete tear, meaning I will need surgery to replace the torn ligament. However, seeing as I am having to go through a lot of exams at the moment, I am not doing the surgery until after my finals, which would be in November.
So the question is, how am I doing? Now? I'm doing a lot better. But I have to say, it was a struggle, still is sometimes. The first day I went to college with crutches was probably the hardest day I went through. I remember having to repeat the same story of what happened to me over and over again. And the looks you get from people. They'd stare at my crutches, and then at my legs. It wasn't easy. Not to mention getting around to go for my classes. I had to take the lift so many times, and there is only one lift in the whole college. No matter how far my classes are, I still need to go back to that end of college to use the lift. I still use the lift everyday, but I am now able to slowly go up and down stairs.
That night, at home, I broke down. I told my mum how hard it was, to go from fast paced, doing sports and dancing all the time, to suddenly just, this. Slow paced, slow moving, and definitely not going around much. I had to sit on a stool when I showered, and I had to ask for so many favors from so many people. Not that they weren't willing to help, but I felt I was being a burden. It was if I was pulling myself down, being emotionally unstable. Friends would try to cheer me up, but honestly, it would only work a while. It wasn't easy, trying to hold back tears. This is a major step back for me.
However, physio has been helping me TREMENDOUSLY.
After a few sessions, I could really see a difference in my mobility. I can finally walk slowly without crutches. Yes, it's only been a few weeks. I feel a lot better and am looking on the brighter side of things. About doing surgery, I feel I'm ready for it, and that I really want to go through with it. So chin up! If you're like me and you've torn your acl or any other ligament, don't worry. It gets better. Yes, initially it'll be hard, and you'd be feeling devastated. But, let this make you stronger. We get knocked down, only to get back up, feeling taller and stronger.
I do still get looks whenever I walk past people, especially outside, in shopping malls and even restaurants. But hey, people are just curious. They are going to want to stare and look. But don't feel insecure, because no matter what, it doesn't matter what they think. All that matters is what you think and how you feel about yourself. It's not the end of the world, it's just a trip. So get back up, and don't look back.
It's been about a month since I tore my ACL. Basically, I got a review, and it is a complete tear, meaning I will need surgery to replace the torn ligament. However, seeing as I am having to go through a lot of exams at the moment, I am not doing the surgery until after my finals, which would be in November.
So the question is, how am I doing? Now? I'm doing a lot better. But I have to say, it was a struggle, still is sometimes. The first day I went to college with crutches was probably the hardest day I went through. I remember having to repeat the same story of what happened to me over and over again. And the looks you get from people. They'd stare at my crutches, and then at my legs. It wasn't easy. Not to mention getting around to go for my classes. I had to take the lift so many times, and there is only one lift in the whole college. No matter how far my classes are, I still need to go back to that end of college to use the lift. I still use the lift everyday, but I am now able to slowly go up and down stairs.
That night, at home, I broke down. I told my mum how hard it was, to go from fast paced, doing sports and dancing all the time, to suddenly just, this. Slow paced, slow moving, and definitely not going around much. I had to sit on a stool when I showered, and I had to ask for so many favors from so many people. Not that they weren't willing to help, but I felt I was being a burden. It was if I was pulling myself down, being emotionally unstable. Friends would try to cheer me up, but honestly, it would only work a while. It wasn't easy, trying to hold back tears. This is a major step back for me.
However, physio has been helping me TREMENDOUSLY.
After a few sessions, I could really see a difference in my mobility. I can finally walk slowly without crutches. Yes, it's only been a few weeks. I feel a lot better and am looking on the brighter side of things. About doing surgery, I feel I'm ready for it, and that I really want to go through with it. So chin up! If you're like me and you've torn your acl or any other ligament, don't worry. It gets better. Yes, initially it'll be hard, and you'd be feeling devastated. But, let this make you stronger. We get knocked down, only to get back up, feeling taller and stronger.
I do still get looks whenever I walk past people, especially outside, in shopping malls and even restaurants. But hey, people are just curious. They are going to want to stare and look. But don't feel insecure, because no matter what, it doesn't matter what they think. All that matters is what you think and how you feel about yourself. It's not the end of the world, it's just a trip. So get back up, and don't look back.
Sincerely,
a torn ACL patient.
Hey Jade! Dunno if you still remember me from supercamp a couple years back, not trying to be creepy but I stumbled onto your blog through your instagram haha! I just stumbled a couple of your first posts and I just thought I wanna let you know..I totally feel you. I had my ACL done 2 years ago... almost 3 soon (it was 2 months before supercamp, i don't know if you remember me in a massive knee support thing). It is tough right now but it does gets better don't worry :) You will pull through! I know how it feels.. I was a dancer myself and I was totally at the active point of my life when I tore mine, it hurts emotionally as well (as well as physical). Seriously everything you're feeling right now I went through it too, But you'll be okay! I'm back doing ballet again now and if i did you will too! Juanlin :)
ReplyDeleteHey Juanlin! Yes, of course I remember you. How could I not? haha. And yes, I do remember you in a knee support. Great to hear that you're doing well right now. Thank you so much. Did you do surgery for it?
DeleteYep I did! I did it about 3 months after my injury. Are you doing yours? I did mine in Australia, they used my own hamstring to replace my ACL, so I had to do lots of physio before the surgery. But physio before surgery helps alot for recovery post surgery! I neglected that and I regretted that a lot, I could have recovered much faster. Was so bogged down emotionally I didn't concentrate on my physio before surgery :(
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